so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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