I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Randomize
