My nipple is on Facebook.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
No I am not eating basil off your cock
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Randomize
