She is in my trunk
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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