He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
I just found puke in my bra..
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
You ate ashes out of my bong
Cover your peen. We're going out.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Randomize
