everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
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