Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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