if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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