i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
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