He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
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