i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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