her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Randomize
