I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
Drunk is not a location!
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
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