Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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