We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Randomize
