I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
He passed out mid-signature
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
