Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
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