Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
Operation Purity has been aborted
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
We left an ass print on the piano.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
