it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
This is classic penis vs brain.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
