when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
I just got carded by a ten year old.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
