i think my mom watched the whole time
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Randomize
