My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
