we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize