I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Randomize
