in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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