dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
they're like a gay fantastic four
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Randomize
