Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
