I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
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