11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
Randomize
