Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
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