yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
We're like a lot better than the average bears
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
