Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
