I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
we're making bets on your personal life
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize
