3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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