Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Randomize
