Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
