if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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