I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
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