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I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
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