Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Randomize
