I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
Randomize
