Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
I look better un-naked...
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Randomize