I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
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