are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Randomize
