guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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