bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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