my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
