Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
I just saw a hot homeless man
That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Randomize
