This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
Randomize
