She said her name was "party"
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Randomize
