Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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