I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
i need some magic done to my vagina
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
