Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
Randomize
