Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
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