yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
