So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
