i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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