I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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