They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
