i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
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