I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
