is wine microwaveable?
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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