Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Randomize
