i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
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