wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
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