Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize