i don't plan on having that self control this summer
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
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