whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
